Q & A's
Learn How to Communicate Effectively in 6 Weeks
With The Art of Wholehearted Communication by Michele O'Mara, PhD, LCSW
"My wife and I feel like we’ve made more progress taking your course than 3 years of couples counseling." - Course Participant
Let’s face it, intimate, honest and accurate communication is a skill.
If you struggle to find the words to say what you mean, or find yourself comin' into a conversation a little too hot, you are not alone.
Communication is not as simple as finding the right words to convey what you think and how you feel; it is a full-body, wholehearted experience that requires self-awareness, emotional regulation and a conscious intent to know and be known.
But don't fret. You, too, can learn to communicate effectively!
Whether you are a single lesbian, hoping to get your next relationship right, or you are currently partnered and recognize it's time to up your communication game, we've got you.
Intimate communication (aka Wholehearted Communication) is a dance between two nervous systems. For the dance of communication to be effective, it requires conscious awareness of how you are feeling and what you are needing. With greater self awareness and the skills to communicate more effectively, you can develop a dance of interaction that creates genuine, intimate connections.
Wholehearted Communication Helps You:
- Identify your needs more accurately
- Communicate your thoughts, feelings, and needs more effectively
- Reduce misunderstandings
- Create more enjoyment and less negativity
- Say what you mean and mean what you say
STAY INFORMED ABOUT FUTURE CLASSES
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The sessions show us how this whole world of our nervous systems has influenced our lives in so many ways that were completely hidden to us, in spite of the fact that we've both been in counselling and studied things like non-violent communication for years! We just want to say how much we both appreciate the knowledge you brought together for this course and, more importantly, for the way you delivered it.
- Bonnie and Natasha from Canada
Most couples do not need counseling,
they need better communication skills.
That is why I created an affordable and accessible online course specifically for lesbians, called, The Art of Wholehearted Communication.
This course combines the Imago Relationship Theory, Nonviolent Communication, the Polyvagal Theory and Self-Regulation, Mindfulness, the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy. The course includes six one-hour units that are organized into a novel and effective process that promotes understanding and connection while reducing the risk of re-escalation.
Effective communication is a skill,
and one that most of us are never taught.
In session after session, lesbian couples express frustration with their negative patterns of communication that keep them looping in circles, misunderstanding one another. This cycle becomes discouraging and leads to a feeling of hopelessness. Often, one partner expresses her frustration loudly, repeatedly and with a lot of passion, while the other tends to withdraw, retreat and go silent. This leaves one partner feeling rejected, unheard and unimportant, and the other feeling overwhelmed, silenced and numb. Both partners feel powerless.
If this is you, there is a way out of this negative loop.
👇 UPCOMING COURSE OPTIONS 👇
(6) WEDNESDAYS 7:00 pm - 8:00 pm EST
6 pm CT | 5 pm MT | 4 pm PT
SEP 25; OCT 2, 9, 16 , 23, 30; NOV 6, 13
Limited to 35 couples
WHAT YOU WILL LEARN IN THIS COURSE
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The Fundamentals of Listening
Upgrade and expand your communication toolbox with the fundamentals that every couple needs for a healthy, effective relationship.
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How to Be Heard (becoming hearable)
Identify the blindspots in your communication that prevent you from being accurately heard and understood.
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A Fail-Proof Roadmap for Effective Communication
Learn the principles of Wholehearted Communication and how to apply them in your relationship to create new patterns of communication.
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Barriers to Communication and How to Overcome Them
By focusing on the dance as the problem, and not one another, you can uncover the ineffective patterns in your communication and introduce new and improved habits of interaction.
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How to disagree without fighting
Learn how to communicate as teammates instead of opponents.
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How to speak with more honesty and openness
Learn how to access, understand and communicate your thoughts, feelings, and needs with clarity and directness.
★★★★★
Michele is an excellent coach and facilitator. Not only is the material helpful but she "walks her talk" (demonstrated with her partner). I'd recommend this course to anyone. It's a user-friendly and practical course. Her style is also engaging: she has a great sense of humor, has sound applications, and provides a safe space.
- Susan L, North Carolina
★★★★★
It was outstanding. Very clearly taught with excellent handouts – specific, sharp looking. Flowed well from concept to concept. Really liked the teaching format. Exercises were very beneficial. I would highly recommend it.
– Tamara Weber, Saint Clare, MI
★★★★★
It was amazing!
So insightful and especially validating to see that we're not the only ones who struggle the way we do with communication, don't change your personable and welcoming demeanor.
– K&M, Huntsville, AL
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Specifically for Lesbian, Queer & Non-Binary (non-male) Folx
Unlike most relationship resources, this course is made by a lesbian pyschotherapist and relationship coach specifically for lesbians. This course is inclusive of all female and non-binary/gender queer couples (non-male-identified).
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Supportive Community of Lesbian Couples
Continue learning from other couples by joining the Art of Wholehearted Communication Facebook group. You will be joined by your classmates as well as couples from previous courses.
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6 Weekly Live Online Video Classes
All classes will be held on zoom.us. You will be provided a link to join the class upon registration. Couples can log on from the same or different locations to join the course.
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Audio Recording of Classes
Technology willing, all classes will be audio-recorded for your review, or to catch up if you miss a class.
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71 Page Communication Workbook
Class participants will receive a 71+ page workbook (pdf) with information and exercises for use during the 6-week Wholehearted Communication class.
WHAT QUALIFIES MICHELE O'MARA, PHD TO TEACH THIS COURSE?
- Certified Imago Therapist, Harville Hendrix (2005)
- Author, Just Ask! 1,000 Questions to Grow Your Relationship (2012)
- Ph.D. Clinical Sexology (2012)
- ️Trained on All 3 Levels, Gottman Method, John Gottman (2014)
- ️Trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy, Sue Johnson (2015)
- ️Certified Discernment Counselor (2015)
- ️Author of "Just Ask, 1,000 Questions to Grow Your Relationship" (2012)
- ️M.S.W. (1992)
- ️ Lesbian mom and wife
Cost
Registration is $187. You are welcome to join the class with or without a partner. All sessions are recorded for your convenience.
Talking seems to make things worse, so you don't talk as much.
Everything seems more fragile, sensitive, explosive, and distant.
You miss her. You wonder if she misses you, too. Your emotions dance between anger and sadness, resentment and guilt, frustration, and longing.
Confusion replaces confidence. Sensitivity replaces understanding.
The uncertainty is painful, scary and it leaves you feeling unsure of what to do.
And that's why you're here, reading about lesbian relationship communication. Right?
You want to feel the way you did when you first fell in love with her.
The louder she gets, the quieter you become; or the quieter you become, the louder she gets.
Either way, it's not working.
You've tried weekly counseling. Maybe you've been to a couple of different counselors, finding it hard to click with them.
You leave sessions more frustrated than you felt going into them. Yet, you keep going because at least there's some communication, even if it's not great.
Misunderstandings are happening more often.
Why not try something new? Try Wholehearted Communication.
Will I Have to Talk in Front of Others?
Will I Have to Talk about our issues in Front of Others?
No. This is an educational course. This is not therapy. You will not be expected to share anything about yourself or your relationship (if applicable) in front of your peers. All exercises are designed to be done privately, some on your own, and some with your partner or a friend. Any sharing you do during class is 100% voluntary. There may be opportunities to volunteer to role-play a skill in front of your peers. However, this is 100% voluntary.
You will have the opportunity to interact with other participants through comments in the online classroom. All sharing is 100% voluntary, not required.
What if I cannot do all 6 classes?
No worries. Not all schedules line up perfectly, so we flex life as we need to. Ideally, you will work to prioritize this course as an investment in your relationship. The course materials and assignments will be available on the private online communication course portal. Audio recordings of each class will also be uploaded to the classroom portal.
Will classes be recorded?
Yes, technology willing, each class will be recorded and audio files will be uploaded in the online classroom portal.
Can I access this course from a smartphone?
Yes. You can use zoom.us via a smartphone, ipad, tablet, laptop, or desktop computer. You will need access to the internet and you will also need to download the zoom app on the device you plan to use to access class. Go to: zoom.us/download and download this software on your device. At the time of the class, enter the course URL address (which you'll receive after registering) in your search bar. This will take you to the live digital classroom.
Can I attend without a partner/spouse?
Yes, single and partnered lesbians are welcome. If you are in a lesbian/non-binary relationship and you wish to join without your partner, please do. Don’t be surprised if she gets curious and decides to join you. 🙂
Can I attend if I am single?
Yes. The course material is about wholehearted communication - the ability to communicate effectively in intimate relationships. This is a life skill we all need whether you are currently in a relationship or not. The content and information provided in the course will offer you valuable information to significantly improve your communication skills regadless of your relationship status.
What do lesbians have to say about this class?
It was outstanding. Very clearly taught with excellent handouts – specific, sharp looking. Flowed well from concept to concept. Really liked the teaching format. Exercises were very beneficial. I would highly recommend it.
– Tamara Weber, Saint Clare, MI
. . .
It was amazing!
So insightful and especially validating to see that we’re not the only ones who struggle the way we do with communication. Don’t change your personable and welcoming demeanor.
– K&M, Huntsville, AL
. . .
It was amazing! Must do for anyone at any stage of relationship. Keep offering it and other communication classes! We will take them all! We want to grow and improve.
– Tay York, Bloomington, IN
. . .
It was very thought provoking and useful information that can be applied to not only your significant other, but all relationships. The format and information was easy to follow and I felt Michele did a great job facilitating, especially on such a frustrating platform like Zoom.
– Anonymous
. . .
Loved how you brought your authentic self and gave an example from your relationship. Content is excellent. Keep the exercises!
– Nancy, NJ
. . .
Do it!
– Lj. O, Seattle, WA
. . .
It is time well spent growing your relationship but to also learn about yourself..so many “oh that makes perfect sense” moments:)
– Chris Adkins, Westfield, IN
. . .
It was a really great experience and I’m glad my wife and I signed up. Michelle was great at making things “click”. I learned a lot about myself as well as why there is a breakdown in communication.
– Anonymous
. . .
Great information, helpful tools and a friendly and knowledgeable Facilitator.
– Carolee & Kristin, Arlington, VA
. . .
Great class with great direction on how to format a productive conversation voicing your feelings and needs. Don’t change your amazing insight and gift into the lesbian brain/relationship and your knowledge of how to build a better foundation for relationships and communication. Also, stay funny.
– H. B. Indianapolis, IN
. . .
You will leave with great tools for communication, especially in terms of less harmful ways to engage in conflict.
– M, St. Petersburg, FL
. . .
Learning to communicate is vital to connection. True connection is vital to fulfillment. This class is another huge step in your life to that fulfillment you so desire. Give yourself and the love of your life the precious gift of learning and becoming better together.
– D Fishers, Indiana
. . .
Michele is brilliant and has this amazing gift for communication and teaching you how to think about communication in a way you never have before.
– P. Pennsylvania
About the Facilitator, Michele O'Mara, PhD
My name is Michele.
I am a relationship coach and psychotherapist, a divorced and remarried lesbian, recovering alcoholic of 20 + years, with ADD, in a lesbian blended family with two sons, and in a 13-year age-gap marriage to my wife.
Yep, I’m definitely human. For the longest time, I thought I had to have life figured out and be free of mistakes and challenges of my own in order to be of help to others. I was wrong.
We all have challenges, make mistakes and the goal is to keep learning, to keep doing better.
My personal challenges, failures, and life experiences have opened my heart to understand our shared humanity. Neither you, nor I, are defined by our challenges, we are defined by how we respond to them.
I don’t have all of life’s mysteries figured out. Nor am I better or worse than anyone else. I am, however, obsessed with all things relationships. For the past 20 + years, I have been a practicing psychotherapist in Indiana as well as a relationship and intimacy coach for lesbian couples who live outside of Indiana.
In the early ’90s, I read a book called “Getting the Love You Want” by Harville and Helen Hendrix. I was so inspired by the Imago Theory of relationships that I quit my job and returned to school for an MSW with the goal of helping lesbian couples cultivate and maintain secure and satisfying relationships. Over the past three decades, my passion for helping lesbian couples has intensified.
My quest for learning is strong and continues to grow.
Here are some highlights of my professional and educational journey:
- 2005, Certified Imago Therapist
- 2005, Created Lesbian Couples Weekend - a two-day relationship workshop for lesbian couples
- 2007, Developed Designing My Life 12-Week Courses (have created 9 classes to date)
- 2012, PhD in Clinical Sexology, with a dissertation on the Correlation Between Sexual Frequency and Lesbian Relationship Satisfaction.
- 2012, published a book of questions available Amazon.com with a 4-star rating out of 72 reviews.
- 2014, completed all three levels of the Gottman Method relationship training program.
- 2015, trained with Sue Johnson to develop skills with Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples.
- 2016, certified as a Discernment Counselor to assist couples in clarifying whether to separate or do the work on their relationship.
- 2018, Created Lesbian Adventures in Love - a relationship building resource for lesbians that includes destination retreats for lesbian couples, as well as courses, community and other resources for relationship building
- 2019, created the Lesbian Love Codes Relationship Transformation Program
- 2019, created lesbian speed dating event
- 2020, created a communication strategy for lesbian couples called Wholehearted Communication.
- 2021, introduced communication classes for lesbian couples
- 2020, trained again with Sue Johnson, to develop stronger skills in EFT.
- 2022, Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) training - a cutting edge trauma intervention to assist couples impacted by trauma.
Is this considered therapy?
No. This is a class. In fact, you do not have to introduce yourself or share anything about yourself or your relationship you do not wish to. Each class will consist of lessons taught live by Michele O'Mara, PhD and there will be opportunities for Q&A each week.
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